Artist Statement
Silent Screaming
This 4-piece installation series explores my everyday experience with mental illness, specifically anxiety. The most stigmatized part of this disorder is where I derive my inspiration from: anxiety is not just a temporary feeling for me, it’s a sickness that I learned to cope with. Anxiety can be termed as temporary fear or dread for certain situations in life. Occasional anxiety is alright, and even normal. But for someone with the anxiety disorder, it’s more than just nervousness. Avoiding every-day activities such as school or work, friends, or family, is only part of the reality. As an artist, I believe in expressing my emotions through my illustrations.
The first image portrays the feeling of an endless fall into darkness where inner demons exist. The second image portrays the layers of emotions I have to fight just to appear okay to the outside world. The third image portrays the feeling of utter loneliness and immobility because of mental exhaustion. And lastly, the fourth image portrays the voices in my head that are never-ending; questioning my every move. These illustrations depict the different sides to my anxiety. In my choice of media, I wanted to establish a solid foundation with linear details done in pen and ink; followed with a range of tonal values achieved with charcoal to create a powerful combination. The inclusion of charcoal adds more life and volume over the bones of my ink work. Early humans used charcoal to document every-day events in their cave paintings and so, I thought it best to use the same medium to illustrate my anxiety.
By being direct and open about my mental illness through my illustrations, my goal is to make others who suffer from similar feelings feel less isolated and ashamed in their struggles. It is also important to me that my illustrations are felt. The concept of feeling the overall mood of an art piece by just looking at it is something I wanted my work to provoke in the audience.